How I Feel
by ResidentOfCabin6
Summary: Don't call me that. The whispers are everywhere. Oh, now you care? I'm still cursed. Sometimes even laughing doesn't help. No one knows me. I'm an eagle in a pack of wolves. How I Feel is a series of poetry about the feelings of the heroes and other characters after the war.
1. Perfect

I hear what they think of me.

Beautiful.

Brave.

Smart.

Perfect.

But I'm not.

If I was beautiful,

I wouldn't be covered in scars

from head

to toe.

If I was brave,

I wouldn't wake up

every morning,

my throat sore

and raw

from screaming.

If I was smart,

I would've seen

Leo's plan,

and stopped him

before he died.

But I didn't.

If I was perfect,

I would have

a loving family.

I would be

PTSD free.

I would be a normal girl

And I'm not.

Nor do I want to be.

But don't call me perfect.

I know I'm not.

_\- Annabeth Chase_

**Hello Earthen life forms! I was feeling philosophical the other day, and this was the result. I decided to make a series of poems about the feelings of the seven. Let me know if you have any ideas, or if I messed up my grammar, as poems aren't really my thing. I just thought it'd be a nice change of pace.**

**-ROC6**


	2. Whispers

The whispers.

I hear them

Everywhere I go,

Whether in the mortal world,

Or at camp,

They follow me

Everywhere.

You worship me

Like a hero.

No.

A god.

But I'm not.

Nor do I want to be.

I'm only a hero

And not even the best one.

All I did

Was bring us to Manhattan.

Give Luke the knife.

Jump in

To protect Annabeth.

Let Leo sacrifice himself.

All I've ever wanted

Is a normal life.

But I can't have it

If every time

I go somewhere

You look at me in awe

And the whispers start.

"It's him."

"I can't believe it!"

"He's so hot!"

"Too bad he's taken."

I've told you to stop.

But still,

The whispers follow me everywhere.

_\- Percy Jackson_

**Hello! Another chapter for all of you! Apologies to those I called Earthen life forms in the last chapter that aren't (hint, ell13, hint). Again, I'm looking for ideas on more poems for this and one shot ideas for Family. Please review and I hope you enjoyed.**

**\- ROC6**


	3. Too Late

Every time I walk past you,

You look at me in awe.

Forgetting

That I used to be like you.

You would walk past me

And laugh

And tease.

Never thinking

That one day,

Someday,

I may just save you.

Now,

I rank higher.

And you,

You haven't changed.

You suck up to me.

You act as if it was always this way.

Never acknowledging

That I was once that boy

You all laughed at.

Considered bad luck.

Excluded.

Rejected.

You claim it never happened.

But it did.

And you can't change that.

I rank above you now,

And now you care.

But it's too late.

I'll never forget.

Too late…

_\- Frank Zhang_

**Hello! Here's another poem. Also, to respond to that guest that reviewed saying that I should put up the poetry in the order they were found, I will reorganize the poems later, but here's what I had typed. I hope you enjoyed!**

**\- ROC6**


	4. It's Never Really Gone

He said he took it away.

But he didn't.

No,

It's still here.

And I'm still cursed.

It's only changed form.

No longer

Do my jewels

Cause injury or maiming,

But it's still there.

In the way they look at me.

The way they talk to me.

I almost miss the old curse.

At least I could control it.

But now,

They fear me.

Honor me.

Love me.

Not because I'm kind,

Or because I'm fair.

Or smart.

No,

It's because I'm powerful.

But I don't want that to be

The reason they remember my name.

I can't change that,

Though,

As much as I wish I could.

Just please,

Promise me,

You'll remember me

For me.

Because I'm still cursed.

_\- Hazel Levesque_

**Also, I'm looking for suggestions for poems so feel free to PM me or review!**


	5. Laughter

Every time it hurt.

Every time it burned.

Every time I felt

The world was ending…

I laughed.

I laughed at my foster homes,

I laughed at school,

I even laughed on the Argo II.

I cracked jokes

To shield

How cracked up

I am inside.

To keep the facade from cracking,

Keep up the image

Of being unaffected,

No matter how cracked

I am inside.

But,

Let me tell you,

Sometimes

It hurts so bad

That even laughing doesn't help.

But I continue to laugh,

To hide,

To pretend,

Hoping that someday,

The pain will go away,

And I can laugh freely again.

_\- Leo Valdez_

**Hello everyone, here's Leo's poem! Again, suggestions are welcome, and thanks to Guest, who submitted some ideas and even a whole poem (which will go up, but I'll probably tweak it some, if you're okay with that). Thanks, and sorry if you were two Guests under the same name and not one person. I hope you guys liked the poem!**


	6. Almost No One

Almost no one knows me.

The real me.

They hear my title

And they think

Of a girl

That I'm not.

A girl that laughs in the face of danger.

That feels no fear.

That can gut and empousa in seconds,

Or kill a drakon alone.

Those who don't

Think that's true,

Imagine a girl

Stereotypical

Of Aphrodite.

A girl

That slayed a giant

By applying make up

And throwing high heeled shoes.

That sleeps with every man she meets

And charm speaks for attention.

A girl thats spoiled rotten.

Neither girl is who I am,

Nor who I want to be.

But almost no knows that,

Because almost no one cares.

_\- Piper McLean_

**I hope you liked this! Sorry for the wait, life caught up with me, so, yeah. Sorry. Jason will be up soon!**

**\- ROC6**


	7. Home

All my life

I've wanted nothing more to fit in.

I came to Camp Jupiter

With the hope of having a family.

Of being normal.

Then I was claimed,

And I knew I would be marked,

Eternally,

As someone different.

The son of Jupiter.

I tried to degrade myself,

Make people ignore my heritage,

But I was promoted to Praetor anyway.

Then, the switch.

My memories erased,

Sent to the Greek camp,

I thought I could start anew.

But I couldn't.

I was issued a quest,

And now the whole camp sees me as a hero.

When I hoped to be like the rest of them.

Then Leo finished the ship.

We set sail,

And found him with my rank

In the closest thing I've ever had to a home.

I'll admit,

I was bitter.

He had a home.

He was in love with his soulmate.

And he was a true hero.

But I held it in,

Buried it where no one would ever see it surface,

For the sake of the world.

For months,

I wondered.

Greek or Roman?

Neither feels like home anymore.

Neither feels like where I should stay.

I'm an eagle among a pack of wolves,

I never will belong.

_\- Jason Grace_

**Hey guys, here's Jason! Sorry if updates become every couple of days to once a week now, my life is really busy right now, but I'll still aim for two to four days, okay?**

**-ROC6**


	8. Roman

I'm Roman.

By descent,

By behavior,

By thoughts.

And it's earned me power.

For always being that perfect soldier,

Perfect mediator,

Perfect role model.

Now, they've made me their leader.

Their Praetor.

Originally, I was just pretending,

Trying to be the perfect soldier,

And survive without Hylla.

At first, yes, it was pretending,

But soon,

I felt more like that soldier,

Than the girl I was before.

I can barely hear her anymore,

I'd hardly know she's there.

I've suffered,

I've been left,

I always feel the pressure of them looking to me.

I've built a wall around myself,

And buried that girl so deep.

They praise me for my fearlessness,

My ability to take charge.

No one remembers

The little girl they called a friend.

Sometimes, I miss her,

Her innocence,

Her optimism,

But I can never go back.

I'm Roman through and through.

_\- Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano_

**Here's Reyna everyone, thank you to the guest that submitted this, and I hope you don't mind that I did some tweaking. Don't worry aviendhaphiragon, Coach Hedge is in the works. I hope you enjoy, everyone, and don't forget, suggestions welcome!**

**-ROC6**


	9. Pacifism

DIE!

Thats what you expect me to say,

Isn't it?

You expect me

To kill everything

And to love bloodshed.

To obsess over martial arts

And get frustrated

When there's no violence.

Have you ever stopped to wonder…

Why?

Satyrs are pacifists,

Are they not?

Why the one exception?

William.

That was his name.

A powerful demigod,

He could've been great.

Should've.

It was my fault.

A cyclops was tailing us,

And I knew it.

I let it catch up.

I thought we could negotiate.

How naive.

It killed him

Without giving me the chance

To utter a single word.

Let's just say,

Lesson learned.

I started watching MMA fights,

Learning to mimic their techniques

For self defense.

I wanted vengeance,

I pushed my family away.

I tried calling demigods 'cupcakes'

In an attempt to distance myself.

Started trying to sever ties,

So it wouldn't hurt as much.

I'm still a pacifist at heart,

But I never give them the chance anymore.

The chance to talk.

The chance to kill.

So every time I see a monster

I run at it,

Screaming

DIE!

_\- Gleason Hedge_

**Hey everyone, here's the Coach Hedge poem that was requested, I hope it lived up to your expectations, as it took me awhile to come up with. Remember, suggestions are welcome, and I am currently bouncing ideas for Family, so just give me some time.**

**-ROC6**


	10. Skeletons

I'm nearly gone.

I can feel it.

It's been happening for awhile now,

Since that fateful day,

With the skeletons.

The day I found out I was alone.

I've been fading slowly,

Falling into the shadows.

My heart was crushed

Into a million pieces,

So small I thought

They could never come together again.

Now,

It's started healing.

But it's far

Too

Late.

I'm becoming a shadow.

Sometimes,

I still turn transparent in sunlight.

The shadows of my mind

Are crowding in on me.

Going alone

What no one should ever see

Brought out the shadows in me.

They're trying to take control,

And I fear

I won't be able to

Hold them back much longer.

I've been fading in people's minds

The way I have been in the light.

Taking a backseat

To more trivial problems.

I'm nearly gone,

Almost lost to the darkness,

And soon

I'll just be

Another skeleton in their closets.

Maybe it will be better that way.

_\- Nico di Angelo_

**I hope this doesn't sound out of character for Nico! I've always had such a hard time with him... Sorry it took me so long, but I have reasons! One, I really wanted to do Nico, it just took me awhile to tap into him. Two, as you know from my author's not in Family if you read that, my life is really busy right now and I'm hoping I'll be able to update regularly again once summer break arrives in like two or three weeks. Bare with me, guys. Oh, and can you guys suggest characters? I'll do repeats and anyone not too minor, okay? (I'll even try Luke if I get enough requests [,which means, like, five].)**

**-ROC6**


	11. Tartarus

It was horrible.

Mind shattering.

_So much worse_

_Than every text_

_I've ever read about it._

**The worst thing that**

**Could've happened to me**

And I braved it alone.

No one by my side.

_Only Percy_

Only Wise Girl

_To keep me sane._

To heal my mind.

**And yet,**

**It broke me.**

_I wake up every night_

_In a cold sweat,_

_My throat raw from screaming._

And I have scars on my body

That will never heal.

But worst of all

Are the shadows in my mind,

Driving me to the edge

Of insanity.

**And it's my fault, too.**

_I didn't cut the web._

I couldn't leave her.

I had to go explore.

**And now I'm broken.**

All because of one little word.

_One little word…_

One simple phrase.

**Tartarus.**

_\- Annabeth Chase _-Percy Jackson -Nico di Angelo (**All**)

**Hey everyone! School gets out in two days, so updates should be getting more regular from here one, okay! I was trying an alternate style of writing the poems here, so let me know if it confused you, or if you liked it, or what. I would like feedback on it. I hope you guys enjoyed this, and that you can give me epic suggestions or even poem submissions, m'kay? Alright. Awesome. **

**-ROC6**


	12. Identity

Who am I?

I'm not sure I know anymore.

Amnesia was better than this,

At least then I had hope of knowing.

Now, I have no clue.

Am I a hero?

I don't think so.

Not after what I've done.

I've seen too many shadows,

Sieged too many lives.

And even though people call me that,

I know it's not who I am.

But I'm not a villain either,

Killing without cause.

So who am I?

I don't know,

and I doubt I ever will,

But I know this:

It's not the hero you think I am.

\- _Percy Jackson_

**Heyo everyone! I know, it's short, but I felt it got the message across. Now, it's summer vacation so you can expect regular updates every two to four days. I hope you guys enjoyed, and remember, I love suggestions!**

**-ROC6**


	13. Broken

I don't need your pity,

Nor do I want it.

Because I know,

Oh I know,

That I'm a broken girl.

I scream at night,

Plagued by the demons

Inside my mind.

The are scars,

Designs,

Permanently etched into my flesh,

Some from when I was as young

As seven years old.

My eyes are hard,

Flitting back and forth,

Always looking out

From years of experience

That you are never safe.

My ears sometimes fill

With words that aren't mine.

Screams of those I've known

And will never see again.

My hands are red,

Tainted with blood

That might've seemed right,

At the time,

But wasn't mine to spill.

Rough and hard,

Scarlet and sticky.

It can be seen,

Too,

In the furrow of my brow,

The purse of my lips.

Everything about me shows it.

I'm a broken girl,

And I know it.

I don't need you

To tell me, too.

\- Annabeth Chase

**Hey, I told you guys you'd get regular updates! Huzzah! Alright, suggestions and submissions welcome, and I hope you enjoyed!**

**-ROC6**


	14. Torment

Why Elysium?

Why?

Why not Asphodel?

I could be mindless,

Blissfully thoughtless.

Or the Fields of Punishment.

I'm sure any punishment

They could make

Would be better than this.

This is torment.

Yes,

It hurts,

To be surrounded

By people who hate me,

Who blame me,

For them being here.

But that's not what's tormenting me.

What's tormenting me…

Is me.

My thoughts.

They run round and round,

Replaying every sin I committed,

Every mistake I ever made.

It fills me with regret,

It torments me,

Knowing I can never set them right.

That nothing I can ever do

Will ever set them right.

And I try to stay away,

To not think about it,

But every train of thought

Leads right back

To them.

This is a special kind of torment.

Designed by no one,

It destroys my mind,

Summoning the voices

Of the fallen.

_It's your fault!_

_You did this!_

They shout endlessly.

Eternally.

There's no escape.

I deserve it,

Though.

My own special torment.

-_Luke Castellan_

**Hey everyone! I wrote Luke for you! If you have any requests, I'd love to hear 'em, and I hope you guys enjoyed this poem.**

**-ROC6**


	15. Don't Worry

A silent tear falling

When my shoulder's turned.

A sniffle in the night,

When all should be quiet.

Dark circles around my eyes

From many sleepless nights

Hidden from the public eye.

Only those who know me

Could spy something wrong.

Everyone tells me not to worry.

He's home,

He's safe,

It won't happen again.

Well,

That's what they thought last time, too.

And look what happened.

Sometimes I comfort him in the night

Like I used to when he was young.

_Don't worry Baby, Mommy's here. The monsters can't get you now._

But once the doors to reality have been opened,

They can't be closed again.

Neither of us believe that

The monsters won't come.

They stalk us in the night,  
Hovering on the edge of my dreams

And turning his to terrors.

Percy,

My sweet baby boy,

You don't deserve this.

Not the cynical view the world's forced upon you,

Nor the pain you've had to endure.

And though they tell me not to worry,

Worry is all I do.

Sometimes I cry all alone,

Knowing that the when

You ran out the door this morning

With orange juice staining your upper lip,

Might be the last time I ever see you.

It's been so hard

All these years

To willingly let you run into harm.

But I know you're strong,

And you'll make it through.

I just wish it had to be

Any other demigod but you.

But I've seen the way you lead and fight,

And I know you'll do it right.

So maybe I won't worry about you,

Just this once,

And just believe that you're alright.

_\- Sally Jackson_

**Hey, I know what you're thinking. _What the heck, ROC6, you said we'd get consistent updates here!_ Well, I tried, I really did, but I felt like when I rushed to get the poems up on time, that I was losing some of their content. I was legitimately stuck on who to write next until aviendhaphiragon (I hope I spelled that right) suggested some characters to me, the first of which you see now. I hope you guys remember that submitting ideas and poems is welcome, and I'll try to get a new poem up every week, okay? I hope you enjoyed, and stay awesome.**

**-ROC6**


	16. Echos

There are whispers,

echos,

at the edge of my mind.

Echos of people that I used to know.

Echos of their screams

As the claws hit their mark,

When the venom found its way to their heart,

The moment the life was crushed out of them.

They quiet in the light

To the point where they're bearable,

If depressing,

But in the dark,

The night,

They haunt me.

Whispers between the screams.

_You could've saved me! _

_It should've been you! _

And worst of all

_There's nothing you could've done, it isn't your fault. _

They plague my dreams,

And taunt my waking thoughts.

The echos at the edge of my mind.

_\- An Anonymous Demigod_

**Here you go, everyone! In told you guys once a week from now on, and ta-da! Another poem. I hope you guys all enjoyed this one, and stay awesome.**

**-ROC6**


	17. Prophecy

Useless.

A failure.

That's what I am.

I can see the future,

Yet I can do nothing with it.

I could've-

Should've-

Seen their deaths coming.

But I didn't

I failed.

I let them die

By not knowing,

Not seeing

Anything useful.

And when I did,

When I tried to stop it,

Nothing changed.

What good it the gift of sight

If I can do nothing with it?

They say I don't know how they feel.

They weren't _my_ comrades after all.

But they _were_ my friends.

Isn't that worse?  
Wanting to help them and not being allowed to?

I think it is.

But I'm just like you.

I'm not a hero,

But I know how you feel.

It's easier to be on the battlefield with them.

You can say you had to defend your own life,

Or you couldn't get there in time.

But me?  
I can't save a soul.

I'm forced to watch,

Never bearing arms

I watch from the sidelines

Knowing

That I could've blocked that strike

Or killed the monster behind them.

It's my fault they're dead.

I should've seen it coming,

But I couldn't.

_\- Rachel Elizabeth Dare_

**Hey-o everyone! Look an update! Yeah, I know, long gap, but I warned you that updates would be sporadic, because I decided I didn't like how these turned out when they were rushed. Shout out to NoTearsFalling for suggesting this idea, and thanks for the others, too, I'll probably start another one soon. I hope you guys enjoyed, and stay awesome.**

**-ROC6 **


End file.
